Bullies can have devastating effects on their victims. The victim's self esteem takes a real beating particularly if the bully has a group of friends who take part and encourage the bully. It raises the question of which comes first; a low self esteem or the bully causing the loss of self esteem. Whichever comes first, bullies are very tuned to looking for weakness. They will also target someone whom they envy or are jealous of; often craving the satisfaction of being able to emotionally hurt their victims.
When a bully walks into a room or on to the playground they have what I would describe as a well tuned "victim radar"! The individual who avoids eye contact or by body language indicating their discomfort with the bully's presence are quickly identified. We need to be sensitive to the emotional damage done to the bully's victim. Many studies are now citing the effects of bullying on the victim's long term emotional health. If the victim does not receive help from significant others, the school and their community it can potentially affect the rest of their lives. Regardless of how the victim has arrived at a state of low self esteem there are many things we can do.
We need to address the bullying and ensure it stops but the issue of repairing and developing self esteem are very important considerations. In the next post I'll discuss some interesting observations regarding the relationship between a sense of mastery and the development of self esteem.
